First Things First

I’m not sure if what I’ve poured all of my hard work and effort into will actually lead me to the path I want to walk in life.

I accepted you for who you are. Why won’t you do the same for me? #collegedecisions

So, so tired of being disappointed. Waiting for somebody to recognize that I am more than just a number.

 

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Onwards and upwards 12/13/17

I LIVE for meteor showers. 12/13/17-/12/14/17

There is a crap ton of sunshine in my soul today. 12/16/17

 

12/16/17

You know that you’re good friends with somebody when you plan to meet up just to get fries from McDonald’s.


IT’S FREAKING NICE TO SEE YOU TOO

How the Stars Changed My Life

This year, I have done quite a few things in the name of science (and math!).

Jan 2017:

Out of deliriousness and excitement during a Discord team meeting that went past midnight, my Zero Robotics team and I planned a four-day trip to Boston, Massachusetts just a few weeks before our Zero Robotics competition.

I can proudly say that I was on the projector screen in one of the largest MIT lecture halls…as a blue SPHERE. I made NASA engineers and scientists (and a room full of international ZR competitors) laugh. (holy crap)

Feb 2017:

I, along with the rest of my Math Field Day coordinators, woke up at 6am, arrived at school at 7am, and led one of the most memorable Math Field Days so far in my life. The smiles on the faces of hundreds of students and their excited chatter as they pondered the math problems we spent months slaving over made the eight months preceding that single day of festivity worth it. It was the perfect send-off to one year serving as a competitor, one year serving as a team captain, one year serving as a volunteer, one year serving as a coordinator, and two years serving as the lead coordinator. I plan to return as an alumni and guest judge.

March 2017:

I, along with my Math Club board, passed out over two hundred apple pies on Pi Day to math teachers and active Math Club members.

April 2017:

My mom and I planned an extremely late trip to Salem, Oregon to watch the total solar eclipse. The airfare and the hotel fare were insane.

May 2017:

I said my last farewell speech at the Math Club banquet and honored the teachers who were retiring. I also wished the future board well and the club a plethora of success.

August 2017:

Totality blew my mind. Science is absolutely beautiful.

The lack of light pollution and the amount of stars that lit up the sky also blew my mind.

Dec 2017:

I lit a light bulb with a beaker of Gatorade. AMAZING.

My mom and I covered ourselves in blankets and lay in our backyard to watch the Geminid meteor shower despite the fact that it was fifty degrees. I made a lot of wishes* that night.

My mom’s count: 7

My count: 16

UPDATE: One of my wishes came true. BLESS Math 5C

12/13/17^2

I think the New Years is such a wonderful occasion. For one night, the entire globe and all of mankind comes together to celebrate the ending of a year and welcome the beginning of another. We set aside our differences and reflect on everything that has been done and everything with the potential to be done. It’s the fresh start and bittersweet ending that all of us crave.


The temporary rush of dopamine we get from social media is such a dangerous thing. I just know that this system will come crashing down in the near future as we become more dependent on our screens to generate happiness and fulfillment.

Random Thoughts

Look around. The only reason why you have everything around you and why those things even exist is because of the two following words:

I want

If you want to eat your favorite food, you drive to the restaurant that serves it and eat your meal. If you want to listen to music, you turn on the radio. If you want to see in a dark room, you turn on a light. If you want to get better from the flu, you take medication. All of these things arose from a need; it is this desire that makes the world go ’round.


Dragons

When I was little, the greatest problem I encountered was whether the knight would save the princess from the dragon. As I got older, the “dragon” became doing what was necessary to make my parents proud, getting good grades, making friends, becoming acquainted with teachers, running for leadership positions, and fulfilling my responsibilities at home. As time passed, the “dragon” evolved and turned into standardized testing, strenuous rehearsals, AP classes, college applications, and the driving test. The “dragon” became heartbreak and failure and rejection. In present day, the “dragon” has many names:

Student debt, car insurance, health insurance, bills, illness, taxes, natural disasters, and global warming


Our entire lives, we learn about what other people did

what other people discovered, what other people saw, what other people succeeded at, and what other people failed in doing


I’m a fan of Harry Potter, Ed Sheeran, heartwarming Christmas commercials, deep conversations, and rainy nights.


Time:

I didn’t know how crucial timing is until recently

I thought it was just the three factors they teach you in psych

But I now know that it’s possible for two people to completely miss each other purely because of timing

And there truly is a thing as too late

12/13/17

I was late to my final by 20 minutes. Those twenty minutes were spent in bed. Overthinking. I’m always overthinking.

Writing this paper was actually therapy for me. I was so miserable this morning. I don’t think my self-esteem has ever been this low. I hated how I didn’t work hard enough earlier in the semester and treated tomorrow as just another day for me to give an excuse that would let me get on with life. I hated how I was the first person to put myself down every day. I critiqued my appearance and compared myself to everybody else out there. I thought about not being good enough and the possibility of failure without even considering that the odds still indicate that I have a good shot.


Who needs hugs when you get a solid handshake from a fellow student who respects you as much as you respect them


I LIVE for meteor showers. ❤

12/8/17

“Show me where it hurts,

And give me something real,

And lead me to the part of you that never really heals

And say the words that burn,

When they leave your mouth.

Yeah, tell me your story

But don’t leave the good parts out.”

“The Good Parts” by Andy Grammer

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