First Things First

I’m not sure if what I’ve poured all of my hard work and effort into will actually lead me to the path I want to walk in life.

I accepted you for who you are. Why won’t you do the same for me? #collegedecisions

So, so tired of being disappointed. Waiting for somebody to recognize that I am more than just a number.

 

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9/18/17^2

Tired of liking guys who don’t give a sht about promises.

We all carry baggage.

Mine comes in the shape of a graduation gown, a mound of cords, a stack of certificates, an email, a chemistry textbook, an untouched violin case, aching shoulders, and a pair of haunted, sorrowful eyes.

What does yours look like?

9/18/17

Funny how a friend I made a few days ago gives more shts about me than you do now.*

 

*It’s about time I stop putting my happiness in the hands of others.

9/16/17^2

I didn’t know the definition of hardship until I entered Engl 1B/Chem 1A.

There, I met a single, ESL mother with a son in the Navy who was trying to finish her degree

an aspiring veterinarian who was one year behind her studies due to complications with her pet’s aggressive behavior

a yoga instructor who was trying to make ends meet

an individual who was the youngest child in her family yet had to play a parental role as she led preparations to move homes while managing her studies

a caterer who works full time while juggling college classes

Everybody who has the privilege to enter a four-year college straight out of high school has no idea how it feels like to live a life such as those led by all of the brilliant, hard-working individuals I have met in the span of a few weeks.

They don’t know how it feels like to face insurmountable struggle in addition to school work

They don’t know how it feels like to go hungry and yet still have the willpower to be on time to class every day

They don’t know anything

A stack of textbooks is what lies between the ears of a privileged full-time college student

while I see a priceless amount of fearlessness, determination, wit, and talent in my peers

9/16/17

Rereading yearbook letters allows me to believe even for just a few minuntes that everything is right and beautiful in the world.

9/15/17^2

There are so, so many sad and lonely souls out there

all of which I want to save

and show them the brighter side of life

but I don’t think that I will be able to.

So I just wait and yearn and think

and wish and hope and pray

that these sad and lonely souls find each other

and find a brighter corner of this earth.

srcotcyjxahjlt

9/15/17

I LOVE the smell of books.


Streetlamps are the night lights of the world.

I wonder if somebody out there looks down on earth

and thinks that all of the city lights are the stars in the sky.

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